Saturday, February 25, 2006

Watermelon on my mind

This post is a bit close to home. I'm being a little selfish and writing about something I love a great deal.

Watermelons.

Now, some of you think the act of selecting a good watermelon and enjoying it is easy and second nature. Wrong. There is an art in being blessed with watermelons. This rigorous routine might take some (the slow witted) up to an hour or more.

Hey hey hey… don't despair just yet. I will enlighten you. Consider it… consider it my gift to the world. Passing on a dying secret that, if learned, would make you the most powerful person on earth. You think I'm exaggerating? Image never missing in selecting watermelons. Every watermelon you select would be perfect! Now that's power. Forget politics, fame, and money, friends. Concentrate on watermelons.


Phase 1: Selecting a Watermelon:

There are 3 points you need to take into consideration to conquer the selection process.

1. You need a keen eye for this. Look closely at the watermelon. Close enough for you to see the outer edges clearly. Now you should be able to see, or if needed, sense with your fingers, a dimply surface. Extra smooth surface is bad. Unsmooth is good. Remember that folks.


2. This is hard to explain, but give the watermelon a thump. If the vibration sound was similar to thumping a hard solid object, that watermelon is not for you. Leave it for a poor schmuck to take. You're looking for a good vibration. As if you're thumping a rubbery object, imagine your car steering wheel (those of you with leather steering wheels), this is the sound you should be looking for. This shows how ripe the watermelon is because of the amount of water inside it.



3. This one is easy, it’s a visual point. On every watermelon you have your green color and another color that offsets it. Usually the color is whitish yellow. The closer to yellow the color, the better and the riper the watermelon would be.




Some important points worth mentioning:

1. Seeds. Some of you might have the urge to spit the seeds out, anywhere. Please refrain from doing such a thing and use a garbage container. Due to the slippery nature of the seeds, this might cause someone harmful injuries if they slip. Thank you.


2. Familiarize yourself with these signs after enjoying a wonderful watermelon. You might be needing them very soon. If you're planning on staying at home, then you're ok. Otherwise you don't want to be caught off guard.


3. Put everything into context. Sometimes, if the watermelon looks too good to be true. It isn’t. Be wary of deliciously red watermelons. They could be painted. (It's a long procedure, that I wish not get into). Countries known to do this are, (sorry if you're from one of them, but the truth has to be told), Egypt, India, Croatia, some say Iran as well, and last but not least Denmark!



Phase 2: Preparation:

After selecting your watermelon, it is time to start preparing for the big moment. You need equipment. I have here a few recommendations that worked well with me in the past. These might not work best with you, but given my extensive knowledge on the subject (if there was a PhD program, I would have enrolled), I think it is wise to follow through on these recommendations.

1. The tray. You need a good solid tray, not too heavy, not too light. A border with some height might serve best due to the nature of the fruit at hand.


2. The cutting knife. I have tried many knives and I settled on this one. The curvature of the knife itself helps with the cutting. It is not too jagged and will not ruin the texture of the watermelon. Smooth cuts are best. (I cannot disclose the shop I got these knives from, this blog does not allow endorsements).



Now folks, I'd like to share with you something that might put my credibility in jeopardy. I got an anonymous tip on the whereabouts of this matter, and I had to fly off to Thailand to confirm this… this… this phenomena. Look closely at the picture below. Amazing isn't it?


No it's not the Buddha. Can't find it? Look closely to the right, yes… a yellow watermelon! And here are some more pictures. I think this is the greatest thing since sliced bread!


So did you find this post interesting and knowledgeable? I hope your next watermelon is chosen using the "al-aQra3" method.

And now folks, its time for kila ma6goog, and I to treat ourselves to some deliciously "watermelony" watermelons.

21 comments:

Shurouq said...

Very informative.. Thank you.
Is it watermelon season already?

(سكنهم بمساكنهم يا رب)

ScarlO said...

LMAO @ "I think this is the greatest thing since sliced bread!"


I second Shorouq, this is very informative. I have a few notes, though:

The tray you used, no offense, sort of looks like the tray my cats use to, erm, defecate.

Knife's amazing. Cuts deep inside the skin of one's throat very smoothly, and although I never tried it on my own throat, but if my throat is to be slit, I'd surely want it to happen using that lovely knife you mentioned.

Thank you, al-aQra3. I hope you and ma6goog had a nice .. watermelony time.

(lol i'm reminded of murabbat raggi for some reason)

kila ma6goog said...

ما أصدق انك كشفت عن سر من أسرار العائلة! هالسر هذا حافظنا عليه أبا عن جد

لو سمحت لي هني كفاية, مو تفضح سرنا باختيار البنك- البنك الي ينباع عالدوار مو البنوك- و الأفندي

عشقي للرقي بدأ أيام الغزو, كنت أييب الرقية و أقصلي شلفوح منها . بعدين آخذ الشلفوح و أقصصه شرايح, بعدين آخذ كل شريحة و أطلع البذر الي فيها. بعدين أغسل الشرايح وحدة وحدة.
بعدين أقفل على روحي الدار و استمتع بأكل شرايح الرقي بدون حبوب

طبعا بعدين ما يبيله, كل فايف منتس آي هاف تو جو تو باثروم

bo_sale7 said...

السلام عليكم ....
موضوع ممتاز ....على فكرة انا اطبق هالطريقة من زمان باختيار الرقي ....بس المشكلة نفس ما ذكرت : الالوان الغير طبيعية المستخدمة كغش تجاري ....حتى سالفة الطق على الرقية ...مو دايما تنفع ..لانها ساعات تكون مختربة من داخل ...لكن الموضوع يعتبر موال طويل :)
بس اول مرة ادري عن رقي اصفر ! الحقيقة فعلا معلومة يديدة ...اذا احد جربه يا ليت يبلغنا عن طعمه
بوست مضبووط :)

Temetwir said...

heheh akh yal ragy

se3oodi ya naas se3oodi

Mowgli said...

shurouq:

Welcome.
:-P
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scarlo:

Just be sure that your cats and my tray never cross paths :-P

I'll happily lend you the knife.
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kila ma6goog:

I'm glad my post brought up happy memories. :-)
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bo_sale7

That shouldn't have happened, if you follow my steps, I guarantee 100% that your watermelon would come out great.

About the yellow watermelon, I tried it, its exactly the same as the red one. It was very sweet. Hahahahaha I even brought one with me to Kuwait. It's still sitting in my fridge. You're more than welcomed to it. :-P
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temetwir

by the way, the Saudi watermelons don't work well with my selection routine. :-P So don't blame me if it turned out to be a disappointment.

Mowgli said...

Nobody commented on my sketches :-(

No good?

:~(

NuNu™ said...

Aaawwww!!! I LOVE Watermelons!!
شوقتنا عالصيف
=/

متفرغ said...

yummmmmy...... for me after cutting the watermelon i bring old newspapers and sit and start eating like a four year child and cause a mess (only when im alone try to enjoy it as much as possible).... i remember in Singapore or in Hong Kong seeing squared watermelons.... wonder how do they taste..... a very informative post indeed y36eek il3afya :)

Anonymous said...

weeeeeeeeeeeeey, I read only the title and maybe first paragraph,mannnnn, a blog about watermelons ???
are you kidding??? I would have time to read anything but not this, I donno how come you have time to write,,, but you good,as long as there are those who like to read about it and comment as it was a piece of art,, you good

Erzulie said...

Lovely drawings :) I heard about tapping the watermelon, but whenever I did that, I wondered about the real reason behind the mandatory thump. I guess I was thumping it for thrills...And what kinda program do you use for your artwork?

Brava Valentia said...

LOL il sketches are hilarious

i thought this post was about "watermelon" the coffee shop, which they changed its name to "waterlemon".

watermelom = summer + beach

keep it up

bo_sale7 said...

al-aQra3 :

مشكور على الدعوة وانشالله مقبولة :)

Mowgli said...

nunu(TM):

It's almost here, summer that is.
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متفرغ:

اييي شفت الرقية المربعه باليابان. شكلها عجيب بس ترى ماكو فرق بالطعم بس الشكل......

Yes i've seen the square watermelons in Japan, they taste the same. When they grow them, they grow them in squared boxes, so that when the watermelon grows, it fills out the shape of the box.

:-)
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anonymous:

Yes thats how passionate I am about watermelons. :-P
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erzulie:

I just doodle these on photoshop. You can hire me on part time bases for your blog. :-p
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mother courage:

see, I too thought it was watermelon, and I could have swore that the name was watermelon, then someone corrected me, in a snobby way if I might add, that the name is waterlemon... So I was right? lol Let me call that someone right now!
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bo_sale7:

راحت عليك.... هاهاهاها لازم اكل الرقية قبل ماتخيس.

Nany said...

Hi

1- Watermelon, do u know what I think if I want to choose your method even the old farmers & philosopher methods I'll choose the worst watermelon in the market…!!!
Because we in our family (my grandfather, my uncles, my aunts, my father & now me) inherit that what ever we do to choose the best watermelon we'll get the worst in the world :(

2- About your method, I believe that there are a lot of things in our life need to touch it to feel the smoothness!
& need to give it a thump looking for vibration!
Finally the visual point which is some time important…
So it's interesting (^, ^)

3- Yellow watermelon…..wanasah


4- But let me give you one of my secrets :P
The most testy part in the watermelon are the heart of it, just cut it to 2 part & enjoy the middle part - this part (by the way Kila ma6goog this part mafy wala 7abah no seeds inside it) you don't need to get out the seeds

5- But what I didn't understand why you need the bathroom after you eat the watermelon…!
I need a scientific analysis for this case please…


Thanks
Nany

meyaw meyaw said...

sej sej shahaitni 7ag el raggy menZemaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan mo maakla raggyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :~~(


if u don't mind i have a problem help me out with this !! :/

Mowgli said...

nany:

you're right... how could I forget... the sweetest part of the watermelon is the heart... yummy.... I'm going to eat the yellow watermelon now LOL.
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meyaw meyaw:

whats the problem? I'll help out if I can. :-)

كله انسى said...

احلا شي عندي الرقيه اللي لونها أحمر فاتح

ولما تشوفها من قريب جنه حاطين عليها شكر


شوقتنا عالصيف والرقي


مشكوور عالبوست.. يهبل :)

EXzombie said...

انا تعودت بالاردن ورى كل صلاة جمعة اني اشتري 3 رقيات

و اول ما ارجع البيت ابدي احظرهم للتضحية الكبرى

اول شي احط ثنتين بالفريزر و ابدي اخض الي بقت خض لين ينشلع جتفي و بعدها افتح لي فتحة صغيرة بالرقية و ابدي اعين الي داخلها بالخشوقة لين احرولها من داخل و بعدها اقعد بمكسر و فنيلة مشققة و اشرب الي داخل الرقية
طبعا الفنيلة الشققة لها نصيب الاسد من عصير الرقي بس هم وناسة لما الواحد بهالعمر يدمر روحه و هو مستانس

الرقيتين الباجين اقص على روحي فيهم و اكل منهم مثل البرد

Adorra said...

mmmm watermelons. MMM!! I yearn for them.

meyaw meyaw said...

al-aqra3 ,, thank you for offering your help o really appreciate that ... kent 7aa6a my problem eb my blog bs now i feel like i'm silly to do this ,,, its not worthing i don't know ,, but i really feel silly ,, o mesa7t el problem ://
thank you .......