Friday, May 26, 2006

i lost my funny

Ok… when I was writing here, I was considered to be, in the eyes of many… Lucky. I had fame… I had power… I had the love and affection of all… Signing autographs everywhere I go…

Why did I give it up? I tried to convince the public, myself included, that it's mainly due to my humbleness gene, that I didn't like all this attention, that given the choice, I'd choose a family, a small house, a mini-van, a cat named Ester, and nothing more.

Who was I kidding? The real reason I quit was...

I lost my funny!

It's a loss no one can recover from, losing your funny. For the love of life, I tried and I reached deep down into my heart and soul, but nada! No funny! How come? I had it before… I was funny!!! I'd be in my car and would be hailed "HEY!!! YOU'RE FUNNY!" How would something like this slip away from me unnoticed? What? Did I spend all my funny away? Did it slip away in my sleep? Was I cursed? Voodoo stuff? I WANT TO BE FUNNY AGAIN!

Without it… without being funny… I had nothing… I HAVE nothing… I'm just… Ordinary

God… I hate that word… Ordinary… I even hate pronouncing it… 'or-d&n-"er-E… The "Urrrrr"'s kill me.

Where can I cash that? Ordinary? I don't recall someone being offered a cup of coffee on the house, because he's just… ordinary!!!

Why would anyone be even partially interested in what an ordinary guy says or thinks or feels?

I'm finished… I'm done for…

There are 5 types of funny… And alas… I'm not one of them.

You've got your Sarcastic. Black humor always works. It's sharp, and edgy. Sarcastic people are brave too, they aren't afraid that others might miss out on the joke, but they say it anyways. I wish I was sarcastic.

You've got your Smart and Witty. Well I guess no explanation is needed… Smart… aaaaannnndddd… Witty... And I know that I've got no chance! No chance of being that.

You've got your "You-know-what-holes / Jerks". Hey! Blasting at someone or something, awful and wicked as it may sound, does have a ring of humor to it. I don't have the heart for it, unfortunately.


Then there are Prop funnies. Yeah that sounds interesting but I have to be realistic, I can't walk around with a painted horse, a sheep in a clown suit, and juggle 5 balls at the same time. I don't know how to juggle.

Last but not least, there are the Unintentionally Funny funnies. You know the type. The type that think they can run 7 ministries at once.



So… It all boils down to nothing. I'm lost. And I don't mean the hit TV show on ABC (Yeah I admit, I'm totally gaga over it), I'm lost in oblivion.

I'm not funny…

Unlike Moqtada Al-Sadr, I'm not handsome. So I can't milk that cow.



I'm not politically active either. I'm not married, so I have no reason to find excuses to stay out of the house. (I know I'm going to get heat over that, but let's face it, if I was funny enough, it would've been taken light heartedly).

Being funny was my only way of surviving this… this… arena.

And I'm not funny anymore…

:-(

24 comments:

kila ma6goog said...

أنا بعد فقدت الأمل بالمواضيع الفكاهية فاتجهت للسياسة

صدقني الموضوع سهل, سب الحكومة كثر ما تقدر و الناس راح تحبك

خالف تعرف

كذب و استعبط مثل ما يسوون الوطن

الناس راح تقرألك و تحبك و يصفقون لك

و ما راح تخسر شي غير احترامك لنفسك

هونها و تهون

Erzulie said...

That's more sweet than funny :P
Ester 3ad?

bazoon said...

كلا مطقوق

والله انك صاج وشر البلية ما يضحك والله يستر من الياي :’(

هم ايضحك يبكي والله حرام على الكويت الي ايصير فيها :(

متفرغ said...

المطقوق و الاقرع فقدنا مواضيعكم الفكاهية .... احاول دوم اني امنع نفسي من اني اتكلم في السياسة لان ما وراها الا غير عوار الراس و النكد .... ما في احسن من المواضيع الخفيفة الحلوة اللي توسع الصدر :)

Brava Valentia said...

al-aQra3

its obvious you know your funny , you just fish for compliments, yal 3ayyar keep writing ;-p

Hazolat said...

They say that people often use humor as a way to bounce back off of their own personal troubles. If that is so, shouldn't you be relieved that you're not funny anymore?

Adorra said...

YAY you're back!!!
I still think you're funny.

Mowgli said...

kila ma6goog:

ايييه بس إنت شرير. انا ما اعرف اسب
:-(
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erzulie:

thanks... you're kind words keep me going... keep me going... :P heheh eeeeh Ester :-P dunno from where that came from... but no, seriously, if i get a cat, it would be either "tsunami" or "bugeera" <--- from jungle book.
---------

bazoon:

لو سمحت لما انا اكتب خل حوارك وياي... كلا مطقوق هم ماكل الساحة بالبوستس والحين بالكوميتس؟
---------

متفرغ:

انتا بعد؟ هاهاها انا اكتب والناس إتدخل كلا مطقوق بالسالفة...

عقابا لك... راح احاسبك على كل ضحكة تضحكها على الي اكتبه
---------

mother courage:

inzain la tefthe7eeni lol :P eeeh feeeni naqs compliments lol 3ad sij halshay.. my parents never gave me a "good job" or "well done" :-( lol ooooo i know what i'm going to write about in my next post... lol "blaming parents" wanasa! heheh
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hazolat:

What if i was being sarcastic about not being funny? lol am i bouncing? lol
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adorra:

everytime i try to get out... they pull me back in... (of course you have to picture george castanza saying that but with me saying it instead...)

:-P
----------

by the way... i'm going to change my screen name to "Mowgli".

people are starting to think i resemble that guy from the three stooges.

kila ma6goog said...

موجلي

لوول

ذكرتني ببيت ناس يصيرولنا عندهم غرفة كاملة الوول بيبر مالها على موجلي

زين غيرت الأسم لأنه الأقرع مو دايم

أنا بغير اسمي بعد

Anonymous said...

Just Die, you are a Jerk
and silly..

By the way you never was funny. and never will

Mowgli said...

anonymous:

first, thank you for your post.

what do you mean? do you mean i'm not funny?

Shurouq said...

Mowgli??!
But you can't be cute AND funny!

Anyway, I'm only here to check Kila Ma6goog's latest :P

Mowgli said...

shurouq:

alright THATS IT!

i'm back on strike again :P

i hate all you kila ma6goog fans...

i'm going to start an anti-kilama6goog blog. I'll only post when he posts, and i'll ridicule whatever he's talking about.

kila ma6goog said...

ياخي انت دلوع

مالك حق تتحلطم على ربعي, انا تعبت على ما يمعتهم, انت ياي تبوقهم مني بيوم و ليلة؟؟

انت تدري أنا أقرأ كم بلوج باليوم؟؟ تدري أعلق بكم مدونة باليوم؟؟ تدري أنا ما أنام الا ساعتين عشان ألحق أزور المدونات الزميلة؟

متى آخر مرة انت علقت بمدونة شروق؟ متى آخر مرة زرت بزون؟ ولادة؟ زيدون؟ بو مريوم؟ متى و متى و متى و متى

و فوق هذا تتدلعلي هني تبي الناس تعلقلك و انت ما تعلق حق أحد

يبه, المسألة يبيلها تعب و مضيعة وقت مو عبالك شي سهل

لازم تزور الناس عشان تزورك و لازم تعلقلهم عشان يعلقولك و لازم تجاملهم عشان يجاملونك

Mowgli said...

is that true people?

is what kilama6goog saying correct?

Anonymous said...

Answer to your question :
yes you are not funny.

ScarlO said...

Mowgli's nice. He sort of smells, I guess, considering the fact that he lives in the jungle and all, but ... yeah, he's nice. Beware of Baloo, though. Heard a lot of bad things about him. Dangerous stuff.

Might send you my army of midgets to take care of you and protect you from Baloo.

Toodles

ScarlO said...

And you haven't lost your funny. It's your overactive imagination.

:-p

Anonymous said...

lool, ester, aint dat a disease?

Shurouq said...

No, it's not true, Mowgli

I'd still read your posts and comment whether you visited or not :)

That goes to you too, Ma6goog

bo9ali7 said...

..كله مطقوق والاقرع
وسعو صدوركم يا جماعه :) ترا ما صار الا الخير

Mowgli said...

anonymous:

you too think that i ain't funny?

now there's two of you... damn anonymity.
-------

Scarlo:

hygiene is important... jungle or not. :P
-------

anonymous (good anonymous):

is it a disease? lol i should have checked the Medical Dictionary. :P

Oh well, i'll flush the cat down the toilet and get a new one. looool... I kid... I kid...
-------

shurouq:

Well in all honesty, you meant that comment for me, and me alone.

Forget what's his name... i mean... kila ma6goog. He's a sinking ship...

YEAH KILA MA6GOOG... YOU HEARD ME!!!! looool
--------

bosali7:

لا خووووي اهو الي بداها. انا كنت محترم نفسي. هم معاشي اقل من البلوقات الثانية , و هم لازم استحمل هل "ابيوز".هيهات

حتى تأمين على الحياة مو معطيني!!! لا يا بوصلوح هذا الوضع غير سليم.

lawyer said...

وين الترجمه

؟؟ الله يخلييك انا خريجه رابعه محو الاميه
مي نو انجلش

Anonymous said...

Dude~, i aint got any idea wat u talking about u Loosing ur Funny! Now that post was 7ada funny.. maybe my sence of humour mo mithiL iL naas bs i was laughing throughout reading the post! hehe!

Keep it up! ;)